When I walked out of Rocky Mountain Bagel at 9:54 a.m., it was snowing. But then again, what else would you expect for the opening day of Major League Baseball?
Good Jesus! I love baseball and in order to quell the half chub in my pants I'm gonna talk about all the great things in baseball. Some of these are personal experiences but in general, if you are a fan of the game, you'll understand.
Speaking as a spectator, baseball is one of those sports that's long enough so that you really don't have to pay attention the entire time and you'll still understand what's going on at the end. Nine innings usually lasts a good amount of time so if you need to miss the first inning or two whilst slamming beers in the parking lot, you'll be ok when you come in during the top of the third and it's still 0-0. It's probably gonna go 13 innings anyway, with a walk off grand slam and they stop selling beers in the 7th so you're gonna need those extra couple. Baseball is one of those sports that it doesn't really matter that much where you watch it from in the stadium. Granted, sitting 10 rows behind the plate and watching Holliday slide face first into the dirt and fucking his shit up is a better vantage point than the rock pile, but in general, it's still a seat and I'm just pumped to be in the park at all. Speaking of the rock pile, has there ever been a better $4 seat? Doubt it. Baseball is also the only sport where it's cool to stand on the pavilion and hang out while still watching the game. Plus it's also pretty easy to steal beers in that area. Just sayin'.
Basically, I can't wait to spend the next seven months watching baseball. I can't wait to drink $6 Coors Light. I can't wait for a foul ball to get hit in the general direction of where I'm sitting and my heart jumps in the hopes of getting another. (ya that's right, caught it off the third baseline second deck. Boom.) I can't wait to hear the 14 second clip of music before each batter and then when I hear it later all I want to do is watch baseball. I can't wait to drink the all-you-can drink special at Jackson's after the game and blackout by midnight. I can't wait for some rookie to blow everybody's fucking mind and have the best season of his life and then probably tear an ACL in September and we'll never see him again. Sorry kid. I can't wait to sneak onto the field and watch the fireworks while watching some lady pick up the sun flower seed shells that Matt Holliday had been chewing. (Seriously happened.) I can't wait for the last week in September when all the teams on the edge are fighting for the wild card. I can't wait to go to playoff games and either watch A-Rod hit a three run jack in the bottom of the ninth or blackout in the eighth during game 3 because I've been drinking schnapps with hot chocolate all night. I can't wait to watch the fly over opening day. (Probably gonna tear up, no joke.) I can't wait to spend 4 hours at a time watching America's past time, my past time, our past time, just to find out that it's hard to come back from six runs down in the seventh. That's why there's 162 games. I can't wait for the walk-offs, the near perfect games, the doubles stretched into triples for the cycle, bases loaded strikeouts, double steals, squeeze bunts, and bottom of the ninth two on, two outs, two strike saves. I can't wait to spend another year of my life absolutely loving baseball.
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