Ok. I was gonna let this one go but its gotten a little out of hand. Earlier in the day, Jack and I were working our balls off in the student center in front of the TV, whilst enjoying a 3 musketeers and mountain dew code red, which I haven't had since I left the dorms, and is also the best soda ever created. This was after we had been driving around listening to news reports about some kid who was in a run away balloon, spawning from Fort Collins. This news was so important that it was being covered by even 104.3 sports radio. Last time I checked, whenever there is an AmberAlert, ESPN doesn't have it scroll by on the bottom after it runs the latest results in the Sprint Cup finals. Two questions persisted at the time, 1. Why the shit is there a kid in a balloon? 2. Why the shit is Wolf Blitzer covering this? The balloon landed around 3:20 or so. Low and behold, no kid. THE SEARCH IS ON. I REPEAT, THE SEARCH IS ON. As it turns out, "'I was in the attic, and he scared me, because he yelled at me, that's why I went in the attic,' said Balloon Boy about his father, who had seen him lurking around the balloon earlier in the day." This brought up two more questions, 1. What if this kid had fallen out and just smashed his body on the ground? Which news channel is gonna find the mangled body of a six year old first? 2. Why the shit is Wolf Blitzer covering this? About fifteen minutes ago, Wolf Blitzer was filling in for Larry King for some reason, I guess he had the most experience with balloons. This time the entire family was reunited. Fuck me running these people are crazy. Mom - can't speak a dime of the king's English. Dad - looks like a really trashy Bill Pullman, while at the same time ruining the bowl cut for generations to come. Kids - well Bashful, Sleepy and Dopey are about the same amount of quality as their parents, Wolf couldn't even get little Falcon to say a few words for the camera. However, Falcon was able to put his head on the ground for a while and then sit up super fast and laugh at his mom who was crying, or what seemed to be crying, not really sure cause I don't understand crying in Chinese and/or Bull shit.
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