Jon just farted on me. Literally. It was so close that I could feel the wind on the top of my ear. Not many people know this but the couch in our living room is the origin of all pink eye cases. From there, the fecal matter is transported to thousands of people all around the world to give them pink eye. Granted this sounds like an absurd fact but it is in fact the truth. You might be asking yourself, "But what about the time in fifth grade when I ripped out half of my eye lashes trying to fucking open my eyes?" Two words - Green Couch. Again Jon shat on me. He then ran directly to the bathroom to wipe the poop running down his leg. Justice said that a blog is stupid and that it would be a bad idea but already I'm having a great time. I'm not sure if I'm going to include the happenings of this weekend or last night in this first week Anyway if I had to describe it in a short list of phases it would include - cell phone in vagina, drunkest boy in northern colorado, and drunkest sporting event since high school softball. Boom. First blog, fuck you justice.

Right click to download mp3s:
Notorious BIG – Party and Bullshit in the USA.mp3