4,3,2,1 Care Bear Countdown

Once upon a time in Carealot,a great assembly of nine Care Bears took place. The leader was supposedly Tender Heart, although it would have been wiser if the bears would have been following a blind and deaf squirrel through a cave of shit. The rest of the bears were as follows: Cheer Bear was pissed. Someone must have eaten his fajitas. Friendship Bear ironically lost friends. Good Luck Bear did no such thing. Funshine Bear was a gloomy reminder of how not to act while Daydream Bear just kept on dreaming that someone actually cared about him. Keep dreaming bear. Surprise Bear was, SURPRISE! Hammered. Grumpy Bear couldn't have been happier to be wearing a little boys costume and Bedtime Bear was more along the lines of blacked out bear. The fellowship was set. The journey could begin.






Somehow, both kegs get cached right after the liquor stores close. The whiskey is gone and its on to the gin and tequila. Hell lets make it a Care Bear dance off.
I awoke to Good Luck bear on my floor. Friendship emerged sweaty and wet as usual. The couch was littered with parts and pieces of bears. Little bits of hearts and sunshines everywhere. Grumpy needed fifteen more minutes and was not happy that he had to drill in his doorknob the night before. Remember-to-grab-your-fucking-keys bear couldn't make it. Before embarking on their second journey, Grumpy Bear had to vomit. Again, it's starting to make more and more sense why he is so upset.





Later, while Friendship Bear continued to offend others, Grumpy made a new companion.





At the same time Funshine proceeded to go ahead and skate or die.



Careful Funshine, you wouldn't want to go and break your asshole. Care Bears only get one.



This part of the adventure...




Would eventually lead to this...




And later would become a straight up street brawl. The final battle between good vs evil. Grumpy and Bedtime vs a couple of street hoods.Douche Redsox fans at that. And who gives a shit if Grumpy may or may not have given the guy a cheap shot. You got dropped by a care bear bitch! Boom Pow Surprise! Bear.


In conclusion, the bears once again awoke with a startle. Blacking out had seemingly become a natural ritual for the Care Bears. Their new best friend was Evan Williams. Their bear suits smelled of old Keystone and ball gravy, but overall it was totally sweet. Mission successful.

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