Premeditated Felony Arson

I've been thinking about committing premeditated felony arson lately which has prompted me to construct a list of what targets to hit first. This list is in no way complete and I believe that it never will be because there will be many things in my life time which will be constantly added to this list. The reasons behind each burning may not seem relevant to everyone but for one reason or another they deserve to be burned to the ground. Some of the burnings may include people but in general the burnings serve as a mere warning to those who belong to said burnings. I'm not looking for manslaughter charges as well, just merely arson and if I can get away with it, all the better. Here is the beginning of the list in no particular order.


1. Where ever Ronald Emmerich works.
Ron is the director of such gems as Day After Tomorrow starring everybody's favorite brokeback star, Jake Gyllenhaal. Along with this he has also directed the movie Eight Legged Freaks with David Arquette and the tag line of the movie poster was Do you hate spiders? Do you really hate spiders? Well they don't like you either. Finally, this mastermind created the latest Hollywood blockbuster, 2012. Two words, and you probably know which two. Cheese Grater For those of you who don't or those who would like a definition here we go: Cheese grat-er [cheez][grey-ter] - noun - verb. One that grates, as an implement with sharp-edged slits and perforations on which to grate things. i.e. Penis. When I went to go see the movie 2012 not only did I get butter on my popcorn but also a sprinkling of freshly grated dick cheese.
The worst is that this guy actually made two of the greatest American movies of all time - The Patriot with Mel Gibson and Independence Day. Yes THE Independence Day. What happened to him? Did he forget how to make a successful movie? Did story lines really get that bad? Save your money. Buy matches and gasoline with it instead.

2. The guy who gave me a parking ticket on Friday the 13th.
Seriously? Are you serious? You know whats really unlucky on Friday the the 13th? Getting your fucking house burned down. The worst part about it was that by doing the math, my meter expired at 10:16 A.M. The ticket was written at 10:18 A.m. I returned to my car at 10:20 A.M. Seriously.
The argument can be made that he is just doing his job. However, the choice to become a meter attendant was a conscious decision made on behalf of a rational individual. Therefore, consciously this individual should understand the rational act of getting his house burned down because we both are performing rational actions. He is merely doing his job, I am merely burning all of his belongings. Makes sense to me.

3. This is just a general list of shit that pisses me off and may or may not be included on the final list of stuff to burn.
-Comcast
-The guy sitting in the library lobby and seemed to get irritated with me while i was talking to Pete but he had his headphones on and there was fifty other people talking
-KIA Souls
-People who are driving but seem to have no sense of direction or purpose. They are just driving to drive which would make sense if they were doing it on a nice day in the country but not at six at night in shitty weather.
-Poor search results on Google
-The designer of Orbitz packaging because I always lose about two pieces due to the fact that they stick to the very corners of the packs and then rip open somehow.


Anyway, this rant has quelled many of my urges to commit a crime. Feel free to comment on stuff you wanna burn down. I'll find something interesting to write about next week.

Ellie Goulding – Under The Sheets (Kids At The Bar Remix) - click to download from other site

The White Panda - Eminem Front - click to download from other site

Macklemore + Ryan Lewis - Otherside. Download - just gotta right click this sucker